Balancing Teaching and Parenthood in a Global Pandemic-- A Shout Out to the Grad Student Parents Out There

By Amy Skoll

I always imagined that mom life would be crazy, but never in my wildest dreams did I envision a world in which I would be parenting, teaching, and studying in the middle of a global pandemic. I am currently 8 months pregnant and have an 18 month old at home and let’s just say, life is a bit crazy right now. Most days are spent cramming as much as I can into my son’s 3 hour naptime, hoping he doesn’t wake up in the middle of a Zoom meeting or class discussion, anxiously watching the baby monitor for any signs of movement. My phone has become my best friend as I try to do work and answer student emails throughout the day because doing work on my laptop has become almost impossible. My son is of course obsessed with anything that I am “playing with” and desperately wants to push all the buttons on my computer. As a result, I have had many temporary moments of panic finding out that my son accidentally deleted an email or paper when I wasn’t looking (thank goodness for the undo button!!!). 

Although I do have help from my parents a few hours a week, my husband’s job is considered essential and so he has been working in the office since the beginning of the pandemic, meaning that I often do not have a backup plan if things go awry.  Thankfully my students have been very understanding (and super enthusiastic) about my son making a guest appearance on my Zoom office hours, and my ability to mute myself and turn off my video on Zoom has definitely come in handy numerous times, enabling me to multitask while sitting in on meetings. I have also been very appreciative  of everyone’s grace when I yet again have to start an email off by saying “I apologize for the late response…”

As a new mom, it is hard to imagine what parenting would have looked like without the onset of a global pandemic. I am sure it would have had its different challenges and I can honestly say that in many ways, teaching remotely has been a God-send, by eliminating many of the commuting and child-care stresses that I would have had to deal with if I was not working from home. At the same time however, it is hard to feel fully present in whatever task I am working on (both parenting and work/school related) because there is not a physical barrier to separate my work and home life. 

In a Zoom world, where the lines between our personal and professional lives are becoming increasingly blurred, it is hard to figure out as a parent what to share and what to keep to ourselves. For me, I have found it totally weird that no one actually knows that I am pregnant because Zoom only shows from the shoulders up. However, it seems kind of awkward to randomly tell people that I am pregnant out of the blue. On the other hand, my students would not normally have a chance to see my children, or my home, but now that part of my life has become increasingly transparent. 

I know that this is a bizarre time for everyone out there, regardless of whether you are a parent or not, but in writing this blog post, I just wanted to give a shout out to the grad student parents out there who are doing the best they can to make things work. It is hard to give both your kids and your students the attention that they deserve, and I know that it is easy to feel like you are falling short on both fronts. However, I just want to say that even though no one sees you picking up cheerios and doing countless loads of laundry, in between grading papers and answering never-ending student emails, you are doing a great job!